Late Night Jumps on Olympic Athletes’ Cardboard Beds

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Bedtime Stories

There was rampant hypothesis on Monday that the beds offered to athletes on the Tokyo Olympics have been designed to discourage intimate contact that might transmit the coronavirus. Though the social media principle was rapidly debunked, the beds are certainly manufactured from cardboard to allow them to be recycled after the Games.

“That’s nice, you finally reach your Olympic dreams and have to sleep on an Amazon box,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.

“That’s right, a bed designed to discourage sex, or as it’s also known, an air mattress.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Oh yeah, if there’s anything Olympic athletes hate it’s a challenge. Some of those people can do back flips on a three-inch beam. If you really want to stop them from having sex, do what I did in college and put ‘Star Wars’ sheets on them.” — SETH MEYERS

“By the way, it turns out the beds were not made of cardboard to discourage sex, but to encourage people to recycle, which is another way to discourage sex.” — SETH MEYERS

“I can’t wait for six months from now to read toilet paper labels that read ‘Made from 100 percent recycled Olympic sex bed.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And athletes, remember: If you’re recycling, you’ve got to break down your Olympic sex bed. Make sure to separate your sex bed from your sex bottles and your sex cans.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (Consider the Source Edition)

“This weekend President Biden went after big social media platforms like Facebook for not doing enough to stop the spread of Covid misinformation. Yeah, our country has gone from ‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself’ to ‘Please don’t take medical advice from a meme.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Seriously, you know there’s a problem with Facebook when you can find more honest information on Tinder.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Makes you miss the good old days when Facebook’s primary function was helping you find unflattering pictures of your ex’s new boyfriend: ‘Cargo shorts? There’s no way Diane’s happy with him — then why is she smiling?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Yeah, Biden doesn’t want Facebook to prevent young people from getting vaccinated. Everyone under 30 heard and was like, ‘That is so cute, but literally none of us use Facebook.’” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

In Monday night time’s “Closer Look,” Seth Meyers put the highlight on Donald Trump and Bill O’Reilly’s battle to promote tickets for his or her joint talking tour.

What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night

Jason Sudeikis will probably be on Tuesday’s “Late Show” to speak concerning the new season of his Emmy-nominated present, “Ted Lasso.”

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