Samantha Bee Blasts Supreme Court for Allowing the Texas Abortion Ban

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Taking Issue With Texas

Samantha Bee lashed out on Wednesday at the Supreme Court’s conservative majority, after the court docket refused to dam a legislation that has successfully ended authorized abortion in Texas.

The Texas legislation successfully outlaws abortion after six weeks of being pregnant — sooner than many ladies notice they’re pregnant.

“Technically, you’re six weeks pregnant just two weeks after you miss a period — which is a [beep] nightmare, because periods can be irregular for all kinds of reasons. I skipped a period when I started this job and at the 2018 People’s Choice Awards when Willem Dafoe looked at me too hard. (That was before he became Willem Dafriend.)” — SAMANTHA BEE

Bee quoted from Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s ardent dissent, through which the justice mentioned her colleagues had refused “to enjoin a flagrantly unconstitutional law” and as an alternative “opted to bury their heads in the sand.”

“Damn, I haven’t seen heard a Supreme Court justice speak that passionately about a case since Sandra Day O’Connor’s decision on Kramer v. Kramer. She chose ‘Seinfeld’ Kramer! She said the laughter he brings is almost unconstitutional.” — SAMANTHA BEE

Reacting to a tweet from Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota suggesting that her state would possibly emulate the Texas legislation, Bee paused on Noem’s point out of South Dakota’s official “unborn child advocate.” Then the host put up an image (fairly unflattering) of Mark Miller, the man who holds that place, and delivered a couple of blows that had been geared toward his face however nonetheless felt beneath the belt.

“It’s weird that he’s pro-life because with a face like that, I would want to be dead.” — SAMANTHA BEE

“You can’t be pro-birth if you look like you broke out of a cloning pod before you finished.” — SAMANTHA BEE

“We need to fight this oppressive law, and all the others that come after it, because no person should be forced to give birth — or look into this man’s face. I just missed my period again.” — SAMANTHA BEE

Having Fun With Virus Frustration

On “The Tonight Show,” when Jimmy Fallon touched on President Biden’s makes an attempt to manage the coronavirus pandemic, his jokes had been tinged with cynicism.

“Tomorrow, President Biden is giving a major speech on the next phase of his pandemic response. Americans said they can’t wait to hear the speech, and then crowded into a bar for tomorrow’s N.F.L. kickoff.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Biden will lay out a six-pronged strategy. And apparently one prong is building a border wall between the U.S. and Florida.” — JIMMY FALLON

Jimmy Kimmel gave the impression of he was equally fed up with antimaskers.

“Maybe they should have a separate airline for people who won’t wear a mask: JetFlu.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The Punchiest Punchlines (Delta Air Lines Edition)

“A 4-year-old girl named Scarlett just climbed her 48th mountain peak. That’s great, but she doesn’t have Instagram, so did it really happen?” — JIMMY FALLON

“The C.E.O. of the airline Delta has revealed he’s still refusing to call it the Delta variant. That’s important, I can totally understand that, because being associated with a communicable disease is not great for business. That’s why stores no longer carry the tasty Syphilis Jam. You remember their motto: ‘Nothing spreads like Syphilis!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Seth Meyers provided his personal criticisms of the Supreme Court’s determination on the Texas abortion legislation.

Will publicity remedy assist Guillermo overcome a lifelong worry of snakes?

What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night

On “The Late Show” on Thursday, Sarah Paulson will discuss enjoying Linda Tripp on the new FX collection “Impeachment: American Crime Story,” and the nation singer Kacey Musgraves will carry out a track from her new album, “Star-Crossed.”

Also, Check This Out

Lindsey Buckingham’s self-titled solo album, his first since being ousted from Fleetwood Mac in 2018, is due this month.Credit…Chantal Anderson for The New York Times

Lindsey Buckingham is as soon as once more an ex-member of Fleetwood Mac, after his long-simmering tensions with Stevie Nicks bubbled over (not for the first time). He has a brand new solo album out.