Judge John Hodgman on the King-Size Bed

Alan writes: My spouse and I share a one-bedroom residence in Vancouver. She has all the time wished a king-size mattress, however our bed room is just too slim. I advised we convert our giant lounge. She says that’s unnatural. But I’d wish to deal with my queen to a king.

A shared mattress should enable each final solitude (sleeping) and supreme intimacy (hugging/ kissing), plus farting. So my legislation is: Always get as a lot mattress as your area and means enable. But I’ve one other legislation: Don’t sleep in the similar room as fridges. (If you’ll be able to assist it, after all.) I loved the many studios I’ve lived in. But I by no means actually felt grown up till I may shut a door between me and the clunk of the ice machine, the compressor buzzing its three a.m. reminder that I truly reside in a kitchen like a bug. As a lot as I like a king-size mattress, it makes a horrible eating desk and a worse dialog pit. Keep it in the bed room.